I am trying harder (only eleven days into the new year) to be patient with people who oppose gay marriage, I am. Kind and sincerely understanding words such as the ones below help me.
What might it mean for the church to love gays and lesbians more deeply? First, it would mean listening to their experiences—all their experiences, what their lives are like as a whole. Second, it would mean valuing their contributions to the church. Where would our church be without gays and lesbians—as music ministers, pastoral ministers, teachers, clergy and religious, hospital chaplains and directors of religious education? Infinitely poorer. Finally, it would mean publicly acknowledging their individual contributions: that is, saying that a particular gay Catholic has made a difference in our parish, our school, our diocese. This would help remind people that they are an important part of the body of Christ. Love means listening and respecting, but before that it means admitting that the person exists.
http://americamagazine.org/issue/simply-loving
What I can't understand and what hurts my very soul is when very traditional churches and other conservative organizations won't even allow celibate gays and lesbians into their ranks. As someone who is baffled by how you can possibly act any less on your "homosexual tendencies" than by being both chaste and celibate, I just don't get that kind of ultra-disapproval.
I've tried "ex gay therapy" and it doesn't work. If anything, it makes you hate yourself even more. I've made my peace with remaining single and celibate the rest of my life, even if my heart hasn't gotten the memo on how to stop loving.
Aside from suicide (also a "sin" in the eyes of many and something I would never do, though I can certainly see how people--in their deepest, darkest hours of torment--could contemplate it) I really can't think of any other way to be "less" gay. I don't mean to be flip or to take such a serious issue lightly.
For someone to come to the excruciatingly painful point in his or her life that taking it is the only way they feel they can escape their pain...well, to me, that shows just how very harmful homophobia can be. Suicide rates among gay and lesbian youth (who are so often judged more than they are helped) are much higher than among straight youth.
It truly saddens me that there is such animosity toward something that is often born out of love (not sex.) A warm and caring attitude like the one in the words above is a far far cry from the cruel homophobia that can drive the already self-hating gay or lesbian to unbearable despair.
