from the Sunday Times (UK), February 22, 2015

I think I'm having a more peaceful weekend than usual because I got a lot done at work yesterday and was able to concentrate better than I have been lately. And getting some sleep and resolving something that has been plaguing you a lot can also help. I woke up this morning with a cold (or cold-like symptoms) but I have my heater, my laptop, lots of blankets and old movies to watch so it's almost actually nice.

I'm trying harder with meditation** Ongoing stressors (my relationship with my parents, the feelings and affection for someone I've mentioned before that I shouldn't be experiencing, worrying about the people I care about) aren't going to necessarily improve so I have to improve how I think about them.

Really, it's only the middle thing I can do anything about...tuck away those feelings deep down somewhere in my heart...because they will always be there, I'm starting to fear...but (as if this needs saying) obviously I can't do anything with them. Of course, it's a little easier to be certain and confident you can do this on the days that person is not around.

One of the things I did yesterday, during a quieter part of the afternoon, was work on an online course through a company our workplace uses for training. There's obvious (but still nice) information like this:

Everyone has positive qualities that you admire. Even if it is the type of shirt a man wears or the sound of a woman's laughter, everyone has at least one thing you can compliment them on. Many studies show that when people are given compliments instead of criticisms, they are happier and more productive. Every time you praise or give recognition to another person for a specific behavior, you reinforce that behavior. You encourage the person to repeat the same behavior again.
Giving compliments to others helps them feel good about themselves and raises their self-esteem. When you compliment others, you communicate to them that they are competent, smart, effective, or lovable. You give appreciation, recognition, and admiration by sharing compliments. These are gifts you give to others that have a long-term positive effect on your relationship.

And then there is the below, which I hate to say, I am guilty of even if I mean well. You can kind of get carried away when you really like someone:

Don't Overpraise
Don't overpraise another person or you will make her uncomfortable. Don't tell her that she is "the smartest person you know" or is "the most valuable employee in the company." Keep the praise realistic and don't do it every day.

You can look into taking the courses here or check your local library to see if they offer them directly through their website:

http://solutions.cengage.com/GaleCourses/




**
written by Jonathan Leake:

YOGA lovers and mystics have known it for centuries but scientists have now confirmed that chanting “Om” really does soothe the brain.

The finding emerged from a study in which 21 men listened to the mantra while lying in a scanner that monitors brain activity.

Researchers found that, as the chanting progressed, the parts of the brain used in day-to-day activity slowed while those involved in emotional awareness took over.

“Listening to the ‘Om’ sound . . . activates areas of the bilateral cerebellum, left middle frontal gyrus and right precuneus,” said Uttam Kumar of the Sanjay Gandhi Postgraduate Institute of Medical Sciences in Lucknow, India. The research was published in the journal Cognition and Emotion.
“Listening to ‘Om’ recruits neural systems implicated in emotional empathy,” Kumar said.

source: http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/news/uk_news/Health/article1522437.ece

Friday odds and ends...

I actually slept last night and had this amazing dream that I was in San Francisco, somewhere I've never been before. At some point in the dream I realized I was dreaming and "woke up" in the dream like you can when you're lucid dreaming. I was underneath the Golden Gate Bridge looking up and it was so incredibly detailed I was blown away.

I've only lucid dreamed (dreamt?) a few times in my life, one of which I loved because I got to have a really neat talk with my long-departed and beloved grandmother. Lucid dreaming (for me) is incredibly hard, but when it does happen it's like no other rush I know...except for musically-inspired ones.

This article examines the power and benefits of lucid dreaming:

http://www.fastcompany.com/3042659/how-lucid-dreaming-can-improve-your-waking-life


Also kind of related, this article on being a morning person versus a night owl...from a recent New Yorker:
http://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/moral-mornings?mbid=social_facebook


Other things today:

Below is a great tribute for Leonard Nimoy from the Verge website. I loved In Search Of as a child. For me it was always about that voice of his, whether he was narrating something or appearing on Fringe:

Nimoy was there too, when I sat down cross-legged on our living room carpet to watch episodes of In Search Of. The show was a kind of Cosmos for crazy murders and conspiracy theories, and with Nimoy narrating, I loved it. It was his voice: Calm. Commanding. Instant gravitas, but never off-putting. It was the kind of warm, almost paternal presence that invited you into a story, telling you This is important, and you will want to see what happens.

You can read more here:

 http://www.theverge.com/2015/2/27/8121021/leonard-nimoy-spock-live-long-and-prosper

Between not sleeping last night and being worried about a few different things, my nerves are shot. It doesn't help that I drank lots of coffee to stay awake for today, nor that I am trying to keep my game face intact. That last is the hardest because it's very trying to keep your mask on when even your face feels like it's shaking.

The following are just some ideas for keeping as calm as possible. Chamomile and ginger often help me a lot as does writing my worries down.

• Don’t be frustrated or angry at yourself for being nervous. It’s a very normal fear reaction and focusing on its negative effects will make them seem larger than life.>>>>http://www.nativeremedies.com/ailment/signs-of-nervousness-info.html

 http://www.wikihow.com/Calm-Down

 http://www.everydayhealth.com/pain-management/natural-pain-remedies.aspx

from Pinterest

This is what it's like to be around someone you really like, but know you shouldn't, and have to be around anyway: you can't talk to them. You physically can't, even if you want to, like a normal person would.

You get tongue-tied, not because you've time traveled back to high school all of a sudden or even because you're at heart a shy person. You are terrified of what you might say if you open your mouth (possibly declare your feelings or jibber jab like a cartoon character.)

And, odder yet somehow not, you're terrified no matter what you do say, no matter how generic or innocent, it will give away clues. And you most certainly do not want that person to ever know, ever. So, instead of being like you would with anyone else in your life, casual if not normal, you're always worried and going out of your way to be careful is actually your downfall. 

There are rare days when you can actually talk, even laugh or enjoy that person's company completely relaxed. But you just get these vibes, no matter how nice and genuine the person is, that they would rather you leave them alone. And that only adds to the confusion.


So then you decide, maybe, some things are best left alone and you care about the person, would want to have a friendship if you could, but ultimately decide some things are best left alone. Because, even if you didn't get those icy vibes (which, honestly, the person can't help but give off, you just know somehow) your gut instinct would guide you...and because even if you didn't have that gut instinct, you would still feel sad and useless in this situation because you just don’t know how to be the person she could actually like.




 “Trust instinct to the end, even though you can give no reason.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I saw this online and wanted to share it in case you need to see it too...and by "you," I mean anyone who might be reading this and actual people I'm thinking of if they could see it. May you have a wonderful Wednesday and if you're not having a good day, may it get much better! :)