This article from the "Guardian" has one section that really speaks to the experience of being "ghosted":

 Leaver agrees that it is important to “operate with empathy to both ghosters and ghostees”, but she says that, regardless of their motivation, people who ghost need to realise that their actions “can be extremely hurtful and painful. I do stand by [using the words] ‘cruel’ and ‘cowardly’, but that’s not said without empathy or compassion,” She adds. “I think it’s important for us to understand why it’s happening, in order to encourage it to stop.”

The rest of the article is here:

 https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/oct/31/ghosting-busters-why-tech-companies-trying-stop-blanking-each-other

 https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/oct/31/ghosting-busters-why-tech-companies-trying-stop-blanking-each-other

I think what hurts most about being ghosted is that you will never find out what you did wrong or how you can improve on what you did do wrong...or, worse, never know what happened to someone you really cared about...

After the tv show "Fringe" was cancelled I never thought I would become as gaga again over any show (even "Timeless" which I like a lot, but comes nowhere near close to having the heart and soul and fun of what has come to take a big place in my heart when it comes to entertainment).

from allabouttvnews.com

 

There are so many wonderful reasons to love "DC's Legends of Tomorrow," but I think what grabs me and gets to me the most are the heartfelt and endearing qualities of so many of the characters, including Zari, who is pictured above and appeared as a regular during the third season.

Among the most heartfelt are amazing scenes where characters say thinks I have felt or hope to feel someday, including a scene where Wally West (a speedster along the same vein as Flash and also pictured above) says :

Oh, um, so you're just here to hurt me? Well, you can't. I'm... I'm actually glad that you broke my heart. You know, I traveled because of you. I found some kind of inner peace. I made new friends. One day, I'm gonna fall in love with someone, and that person isn't gonna be you.


 

Maybe it is the opposite of romantic, but I'd rather be boring than have a broken heart...and being practical and realistic makes for a much better way of surviving in this harsh and very un-romantic world. 

My formerly romantic side used to give me such grief that I am extremely grateful I have finally woken from the stupor I was in for way longer than I ever, ever should have been. Lately, when I see the person I like (or rather the person I still like, but have also managed to gain a huge amount of perspective in terms of how ridiculous my heart has been about all of this) I wonder how I ever let myself care so much about someone I mean so little to...

In life, it should not be a "tit for tat" kind of thing in that you only like someone who likes you back...I am not talking about that, but about keeping one's reason and emotional intelligence intact when it comes to how futile, painful and even harmful to your life unrequited feelings are. With the universe and my conscience as a witness, I am going to do my very, very best to make sure I stay level about this and remember that realizing someone not only does not like you back, but thinks poorly of you does not have to mean your world is over. 

Whenever I struggle with how someone sees me I always think of my favorite show "Golden Girls" and how, during one episode, after (I think) Dorothy insults her, Rose says "Well, that's fifteen more minutes in front of the mirror saying 'I am a good person, I am a good person.'"

I do not want (and hope I never do) to lose the part of me that cares about people in general, but I also would like to just keep my heart permanently closed in the safest and best way possible. 

Some of the ways for me to best get back on the road I belong are: focusing on my cat (whom I adore more than I ever could have imagined), the people who do (?) seem to like me, my job and the little things that give me moments of joy (i.e. "DC's Legends of Tomorrow" is a surprisingly fun, funny and feel-good show that has an amazing cast you would just love to hang out with if they were real people).

Happy Halloween

The only time I ever feel completely at home with myself is on Halloween. This is a huge part of why it is my absolute favorite holiday and yet I also love the day because it feels like something dreadful is on the rise as I try desperately (desperately)




to clutch on to the last day of 'okayness' before holiday hoopla kicks into full gear and the madness begins.

Halloween (to me, at least) celebrates the person who doesn't fit in, the person who needs to hide behind something else, so that (even if it is just for the very shortest of time) you can feel as if you're outside of your skin (where you never really feel at ease) instead of inside it..

After finding myself almost desperately wanting to fill the void left by my watching the mesmerizing and deeply affecting "The Haunting of Hill House," I am now attempting to take on Netflix's "The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina"...and with some serious doubt.

There is a lot to like about it, including the title character's endearing ways of looking out for her friends and tackling very important issues and the way she treats her cat/familiar Salem. I could totally immerse myself in this CW-but-darker take on Sabrina except (and here I have huge reservations) for the predominant references to the Devil, whether it be through referencing "The Dark Lord," the use of "Hail Satan" or the "dark baptisms" taking place.

I want to be able to let my fuddy duddiness go, take it all tongue in cheek, but I feel like it is a very shady area, where main characters are embracing the dark side instead of fighting it. And I guess the Christian side of me is having a very hard time with it because I am used to "bad guys" aligning themselves with demons and that like. 

In addition to other changes I am trying to make in my life I am really, really, really wanting to step away from anything that has any kind of evil undertones. Watching "The Haunting of Hill House" (as spectacular as it is) took a lot out of me emotionally and I realized, both during and after watching it, that I want to stop feeding the heartfelt side of me that seems to crave very dark or emotional storylines.

Reading up more on "The Chilling Adventures" (in terms of reviews) it seems I am not the only one a bit concerned about its devilish side. Others have expressed discomfort with it as well, but I have discovered some intriguing reviews that make me think maybe I should just lighten up a bit and realize that devil worship is not the main point and that "the Dark Lord" may be symbolic rather than literal.

https://www.glamour.com/story/chilling-adventures-of-sabrina-review

I'm a bit confused that it seems to pass muster on the rather conservative website Common Sense Media, but maybe that's a good thing and a sign I should not be taking this all so seriously:

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/tv-reviews/the-chilling-adventures-of-sabrina

I can always change my mind further down the road. I have to admit it is not pulling me in the way "The Haunting of Hill House" did (which I binge-watched in two nights) and maybe that is a reflection on the show itself and not any content I am worried about...