Tuesday, September 24, 2019

My heart has hit a wall and that is fine with me. For the first time in seven years I feel like I am in possession of how weak I am when it comes to my feelings and I am so grateful for that. 

Why now? I wonder and what do I do about all that wasted time I spent pining so ridiculously for someone so out of my orbit and so not appropriate to even have emotions for in the first place. The fact that this person is amazing and very worthy of being liked so much really has nothing to do with it at all.

Like a steady pain that is not quite as bad or as strong as it used to be this heartache is pretty much now manageable. And I am just going to accept it from now on and not question why I no longer feel despair that someone I like so much is never going to be my friend. 

Why seek out answers I no longer really find myself asking. I am just going to let it go and thoroughly be grateful I can, even if the price to be paid is a heart that feels more and more like it is made of stone (in all areas, not just this one) than one that is burst to overflowing with every feeling imaginable.


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