I think I have been mistaking repression for absence, if that makes sense..that my wanting so much for something to be gone does not make it gone, but instead leaves behind this intensely sad exhaustion.
Whenever LGBTQA+ issues are in the news I feel so frustrated, even distraught.
I get that I should not like someone the way I do, especially when they do not feel the same way and it is totally inappropriate.
I get that there are millions and millions, most likely billions, of people who do not think the LGBTQA+ community should have any rights at all, or worse, that those billions just hate us, even (in some cases) want us dead.
Knowing all of that, though, has not helped me fight who I am and I am just too defeated; if I keep trying to fight I don't think I will make it.
People are who they are and if they are not hurting anyone, they should be able to go on that way. As much as I find myself pulled down by the anti-gay rhetoric and vitriol out there I also feel a bit better when I read commentaries like this one:
https://www.chicagotribune.com/columns/mary-schmich/ct-met-mary-schmich-supreme-court-gay-transgender-cases-20191009-xkfhktag4bdstoqcbzxdnzos2y-story.html
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