music, books, love and kindness

One of the saddest things in the world is to feel, after years and years of thinking there is something wrong with your heart and that you have closed up shop for good to your emotions, you have finally met someone you could really and truly love only to realize they can never ever be someone who would or could feel the same way back. When it first happens, you tell yourself that you will get over it, that it is just a passing fancy, then when it gets stronger you still deny what you're feeling, like that guy in that 10cc song "I'm Not In Love."

But once you realize that the feelings are here to stay, that you will always like this person but (it is so obvious it goes without saying, but just in case) never ever tell her, the thing isn't (as I used to think) to throw yourself into other people, but to throw yourself, your mind, your heart and your soul into other things (volunteering, finding a new hobby, making new friends.) The heart is very stubborn and wants what it wants, but I still think there is hope for the mind...in knowledge and in realizing you still want to learn new stuff, still love your books and music, still have hope that someday your heart will follow your mind and join the land of the living.

Some people believe unrequited love is merely a result or a side effect of being afraid and/or unable to have real and lasting mutually reciprocated relationships with people who are actually interested in you and could even love you back, but I sincerely do not think that is the case. The thing about unrequited love that people who have never experienced it before may not realize is that most people would do anything to get rid of it and want to be in real and lasting mutually reciprocated relationships. 

Unrequited love is not 'cute' or a school girl crush or a Lifetime movie, it is really caring for and respecting and having genuine feelings for a wonderful person and hoping that you can emotionally move on one day and make peace with what is still in your heart, but carefully tucked away in a strong but safe corner...