wonderful passages from “iZombie” early on in the show:

-Liv Moore: The passionate mind is selfish. It's so focused on what it desires, reason becomes background noise. Javier's brain made me cross the line that divides what I long for and what I can never have. There were so many nights I could have been with Major that I stayed home studying. Days I could have spent sucking the marrow out of life I spent building a resume for a life I'd never have. There were parts of me that were dead even before I became a zombie. So, maybe, that means that it's possible for me to spring to life. Even now that I'm dead.

-Liz: “And I’m not over it at all. I need to get there eventually...what’s the alternative? Stay in love with a guy (girl) I can never be with?”

-Maybe it’s better I’m radioactive, that I repel the people I love. Keep things simple. Harden yourself, Liv. You’re a monster.

Hoping to return here more regularly to write (even if is just to spill thoughts and feelings that will never ever be read by another soul, I still need to shed them)  and to move past some things that have happened that have both taken (and not taken) me by surprise. 

Really, not much surprises me anymore except that the heart does go on even after it feels like it has been completely broken and that you can go on too. And maybe not everyone would get this, but I really, really, really believe that my cat is why I am not bitter or sad or anything else bad that can happen when your heart feels like it is breaking because you dared to trust another human being could find something to like about you and want to be your friend and never hurt you.

Despite the contrary, despite all the stereotypes out there, I also really, really, really believe that cat ladies survive and even go on to thrive and that cats (or dogs or bunnies or gerbils or hedgehogs or any other animal that can be a pet) are a source of fresh air and inspiration, not a reason to shut one's self off from the world and all the wonderful things it still has to offer despite so often being a very scary place.

as seen on Pinterest

For inspiration...

Reading an interview with Kylie Minogue (who sounds not only like a sweet person, but also like a real class act) in a recent Sunday Times article I felt so much of what she had to share jump at out at me, but no two parts more than these:

I think a big part of me has been almost immobilized by things that have been going on, so much so that except for getting up to take care of my cat and be there for him as he is there for me I was finding it pretty much impossible to get through each day. I still care (very much so) about the things and the people who have so deeply affected me, but the difference now is that I not only need to get over it I have to...and I am hoping that the quiet little voice whispering inside me ("Maybe it's not too late to start over, maybe you haven't completely ruined things, maybe she doesn't know how you feel about her") is right...

The older I get the more I find myself losing patience with explicit love scenes in books. Not because I am intensely disgusted or turned off, or even affronted, but because I believe that you can have love without sex and that sex is made way too much a big deal of and is absolutely meaningless without love.

Not that I know this personally...I am a virgin and most likely always will be. I believe, really really believe that I am asexual and I only become more and more convinced of this as the years go on.  

This can be a problem in dating, no matter what your orientation, but it especially seems to be a problem in the lesbian community. It is both sad and funny (not ha-ha funny, it should go without saying) that far right Christians have such an odd fascination with the sexual aspect(s) of being gay that that is all they see and that many lesbians will often run the other way if you confide that you are a romantic asexual...meaning you want the cuddling and kisses and hugs that can come with romantic love but NOT the sex.

Asexuality is a theme that still has a _long_ way to go in being represented in lesfic (or any fiction), but I am pretty satisfied with what I have discovered so far and only hope that someday soon there will be lots more...not only because I really dislike reading graphic sex scenes, but because, on a deeper level, it is nice to know you are not alone in being an 'oddball.'

If I could have any superpower in the world (after being able to turn invisible at will) it would be to have complete control over my emotions and to put chains around my heart. 

But since I do not have any superpowers and it is up to ME to figure all of this out myself I will start here:

https://www.wikihow.com/Control-Your-Emotions

and also by realizing it is not what people say or write, but what they do and how they communicate with their body language that tells you how it really is...I think I am finally ready to move on with how I have been feeling about someone and if I do have a broken heart, well, maybe that is a good thing and next time I will not be so incredibly, incredibly stupid. From now my heart is going to be much, much more locked up and less foolish.